A while ago, I was out to dinner with my husband at Calypso Café, an eclectic beach restaurant that has live music. As we enjoyed our meal, the band played the classic (but still awesome) song, “You Can’t Always Get What You Want,” by The Rolling Stones. I was grooving in my seat, singing along.
Do you ever sing along to a song not even realizing what you’re saying? That was me in that moment.
Hey, wait a minute! My entire energy coaching practice is about helping my clients align their energy so they get what they want. And here I was belting out that you can’t! Was there any truth to these words? I kept singing. (If you know the song, I bet you’re doing the same right now.) A realization set in…that infamous chorus actually talks about getting what you need!
Ah! That’s it.
Getting what you want is really about getting what you need.
The Rolling Stones are right. So often, our wants speak to a much deeper, more profound need. We say that we want more money. We want the corner office. We want to find a great husband or wife. What are we really saying? Speaking from an energetic (or resonance) perspective, money is often tied to our self-worth and value. A corner office can represent being recognized and appreciated. A spouse is a wish for intimacy, commitment, and love.
Beneath each surface want is an unmet need.
Sometimes it’s easier to think about the things we want rather than figure out what we really need. In fact, many get caught up in endless wants. In my energy coaching practice, I often guide clients through a special Key called “Intention for a New Possibility.” (I’ll talk more about Keys in a future blog post.) The first question in this key is “What do you want?” When a client starts talking about their wants, I help them translate those wants into meaningful needs because what you want may not be what you need. So, we dig deep to discover the underlying needs these wants fulfill. Try this for yourself.
Get a piece of paper. Set a timer for two minutes, and write down things that you really, really want. No judgments. No deep thoughts. Just let your gut speak. When your time is up, read your list and ask yourself, “What need does this want fulfill for me?”
Good news! You can still get what you want.
When you resonate with your needs, you will attract the people, places, and things that you want. It’s this shift in energy that gives you the ability to get what you want. But what may surprise you in the process of getting your needs met is your want may change.
Oftentimes when you get what you need, the want either fades away or transforms into something entirely different. Either way, having your needs met will really be the sweet sound of music in your life.
Join the discussion!
I’d love to hear your experience of connecting your wants with your needs with the exercise above. What do you want right now and what do you think is the real need behind your want? Or, tell me about a time you got something you wanted. In looking back, what was the bigger need that want fulfilled for you?
May you sing along with getting what you need by resonating with it!